Holy! I cannot even begin to tell you how much this is not me! I also did not win the 1998 Maine State Truck Driving Championships … I didn’t help this guy with his tribute to the band Slayer … I didn’t write A Review of Analysis of Tonal Music: A Schenkerian Approach for the The Online Journal of the Society for Music Theory … I am not the director of the eastern regional sales force of the Actel Corporation … and I certainly haven’t taken any photos for The New Haven Advocate!