A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m eighty years old, married, have four kids and eleven grandchildren, and last night I had an affair and I made love to two eighteen-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice.”
And the priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were at confession?”
“Never, Father, I’m Jewish,” the man replies.
“So then,” asks the priest, “why are you telling me?”
The man exclaims, “Are you kidding?! I’m tellin’ everybody!”