Blogger Insider

I’m two weeks behind in posting my Blogger Insider questions and answers. I suppose I owe apologies to Jaz and Mike.

So, without further ado … Here are the questions Mike asked me and my answers:

1. so, i saw the movie last night and i really enjoyed it. what was it like to work with julia roberts? my wife thinks you’re dreamy, by the way.

   It was a blast! Julia is a real character. She is just the sweetest thing.

2. paper, rock or scissors?

   I’m a diehard scissors man.

3. do these pants make my ass look big? be honest.

   I don’t think so. But, y’know: That’s just me.

4. what do the gators need to do to take tennessee for the SEC-east?

   A consistent running game. That’s all we need. Even with a sub-par quarterback we are going to throw the ball to hell and back again with success because we always have the fastest wide receivers in college football. You just can’t cover the deep threat when it’s *always* available. The problem is that when the opposing team *knows* you are pass-happy, there are too many things they can do to disrupt the game plan, and if the qb has an even remotely “off” game, we’ll get picked off and smothered if we can’t run the ball. Take the ’96 season. We won the National Championship but we won it by running the ball consistently well. *That* is what allows the passing game to exist. This year (and last) we could not get a consistent running game going and we had to rely too much on the air attack and … well …

5. what determines ‘song of the moment’?

   Nothing. It’s whatever song happens to be handy or in my head when I happen to have a fast connection and an mp3 ripper.

6. madonna vs gloria estefan – who’d kick whose ass in a cat fight?

   Good gravy, man! Madonna would win easily. Have you seen her? She is ripped. She could kick my butt on any given Tuesday.

7. would you spend a week with randy contan, aka ‘peter pan’? what if he was allowed to choose your wardrobe for the week? would you ask to keep the clothes afterward?

   No, I wouldn’t. I would be even less inclined to allow it if I knew he was choosing my clothes. No, I would burn the clothes if I was forced.

8. did your life change after 9.11? did it stay ‘changed’?

   Yes. Yes.

   I think the whole world changed. It’s rather self-centered, ameri-centered, or what-have-you, to say so. But I think everyone in the planet was changed forever by those events. I wrote quite a bit about it on my site. It’s not really something that I think I could start discussing in this limited forum. Like infinity, it’s just a little too much to have to comprehend so quickly.

   Note, however, that I *really* dig infinity and have come to grasps with it happily.

9. what’s your favourite home improvement/decorating show (from my wife)?

   Well as far as I’m concerned, Trading Spaces is the only one worth watching. Did you see the woman with the moss? What a nut.

10. what’s your favourite Christmas cartoon/show?

    A Charlie Brown Christmas. The soundtrack is on my CD player from about mid-November until mid-January. I love it.

11. who was your favourite bay city roller?

    I’m afraid that I was never enough of a fan – or a fan at all – to make a statement there. If there were women involved, I’d hazard a guess and say, “the blue-eyed one with good legs.” If it was men only, then the guy who always had the blue shirt.

12. in 100 years, will earth be a better, or worse place to live?

    Better. Criminy! Don’t you ever read comic books? I think I’ll be as happy as any 128 year old …

13. on ‘wheel of fortune’ you win dictator of the united states for a day – what would you do in that 24 hours?

    In no particular order:

    • repeal Prohibition
    • tax tobacco out of existence *and* provide alternative crops / revenue to the farmers (as they may be short-sighted)
    • mandate that all cars must be smog-free within 5 years (c’mon, everyone knows it’s possible)
    • lower the drinking age to 18
    • force revenue-sharing upon the MLB
    • take a spin in that nifty helicopter
    • make that West Wing guy the national speech-writer
    • eliminate affirmative action
    • raise teacher’s salaries by 20% across the board
    • healthcare for all, and for all, a good night
    • two words: buttered popcorn
14. should the internet have a supervisory board (rotating, elected, etc)?

    Nope. The internet is beyond any control. That’s like asking me if I think copyright law should be better enforced. You make a better encryption method and I’ll find you a better hacker in thirty seconds. Information *and* art should all be public. If you make something, make it because you want everyone else to hear it, see it, feel it, touch it, whatever. If you create it because you want to make money you’re doing it for the wrong reason. And it doesn’t matter anyway because someone will steal it before you can figure out how to stop them. There’s no point in fighting it. The real artists will continue to create because to *not* do so would make them explode. N’Sync would just have to get real jobs …

And here are the questions Jaz asked me and my answers:

1. If you had one week to live, what would you do with that week?

   gah! ugh! I would probably want to go to Daytona Beach at least once and swim in the ocean. I grew up there. And I would want to walk around Faneuil Hall and Harvard Square in Boston, my favorite places.
   I would also try to tell everyone I’ve ever hurt how terribly sorry I am and how much I wish I could take all their pain away, make it all better.

   I really try to live all the time as if I only have one week left …

2. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

   Doc Marten’s, Saucony and Nike sneakers, a pair of Airwalks, and a pair of Oakley sandals

3. What is your favorite breakfast cereal?

   Cinnamon Life

4. If you could change your body with any celebrity’s, who would you choose and why?

   M: Brad Pitt because he’s just hot.

   F: Liv Tyler because she’s just hot.

5. How old is OLD?

   I used to think 28.

   Now I think 65.

6. If you could get revenge on one person from your past, with no repercussions to you, who would that be (vaguely) and how would you go about it?

   I honestly don’t have a grudge against anyone. One time, in line for Captain EO at EPCOT, some lady yelled at me because she thought I was intentionally hitting her son with the Australian bushman’s hat I had hanging around my neck and she was really rude to me even though I tried to explain that I wasn’t doing anything on purpose. Man that lady was a bitch. I would try to tell her son that his mom was a psycho.

7. How often do you read your referral stats?

   Daily. Just like everyone else. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

8. What song would you want played at your funeral?

   Amazing Grace on bagpipes.

9. Am I just dark and depressing today or WHAT?

   er … not really

10. If you were offered a free vacation, to either a secluded beach bungalow or a secluded mountain lodge, which would you choose?

    The beach bungalow. Y’know those Corona commercials? That’s me.

11. (because 9 was kind of a ripoff). Is there anyone you wouldn’t want to read your blog?

    No. I like to rip myself open completely to everyone. Complete strangers and intimate friends and everyone in between gets everything out of me in whatever medium I can transmit.

My questions for Mike, and his answers, can be found here.

My questions for Jaz, and her answers, can be found here.