I just ate a fortune cookie. My fortune read, “You are the master of every situation.”
I don’t think that’s a fortune. Is it just me, or didn’t fortune cookies used to contain fortunes? It seems that all the ones I get lately just tell me some lame, self-affirming nugget of nonsense.

“You are wise and kind.”
“You make others smile.”

I want a fortune that tells me something I don’t know.

“You should avoid the 405 on the way home tonight.”
“Beware the bald man.”
“Bet on the Redskins”

Those are fortunes I could use, y’know?

<mumbling>
Who the hell is in charge of writing fortune cookie inserts anyway?
</mumbling>
… heads to askjeeves.com …