Failure to LaunchThe only two positive things I can say about Failure to Launch are that it was not quite as bad as A Historyof Violence and that it had a decent soundtrack. (And, of course, for some reason that soundtrack is not available at Amazon or on iTunes.)

Terry Bradshaw did the best acting in the film.

Let me put it this way: Terry Bradshaw did the best acting in the film. McConaughey plays the exact same character he’s played in every role he’s ever had. Parker spent the majority of the film being very loud and looking very old.

Let me put it another way: There is a 3+ minute scene in which a couple of the supporting cast members — the “subploteers” — perform CPR / mouth-to-mouth to revive a bird they shot with a BB gun.

The only reason I can’t say that this film was worse than A History of Violence is because at no point did it attempt to pretend that it was a good movie. I can’t imagine that anyone involved with this waste of time even remotely thought they were producing a good movie, and it shows.

If you have a choice between catching a Saved by the Bell marathon on cable and going to see this flick, go with Screech.