StarbucksWhen the barista at Starbucks handed me my coffee this morning, the hole in the lid was directly over the seam in the cup. This, I have come to learn, is a recipe for disaster. If the hole is within a centimeter of the seam you are almost guaranteed to experience “coffee drip” on your shirt. Walking into the office with a coffee stain in the middle of your shirt is a rotten way to start a Monday.


As politely and nicely as I could be at 5:30 in the morning, I asked, “Are you a new guy?” I hadn’t seen the barista and I was earnestly trying to be a good citizen of the world.

“No,” he replied, “I’ve worked at Starbucks for a while.”

“Oh,” I said, removing the lid and repositioning it, “it’s just that if you put the seam right over the hole, the coffee drips.”

He looked as if I had insulted him horribly and was a terribly rude customer. I was embarrassed and hastily grabbed my coffee. Of course I hadn’t snapped the lid all the way and so spilled coffee on the counter and the floor. “Figures,” I said, trying to at least allow him to laugh at me. No such luck. Just a disapproving stare.

So I left, got in the truck, and then hit the steering wheel with the coffee, causing it to splash from the hole onto my jeans and the seat.

Happy Monday!