Thankfully it has been a long, long time since I’ve suffered from over-imbibing. But I do have plenty of experience dealing with the aftereffects of grossly underestimating how much alcohol my body can tolerate.

The only cure for a true hangover is death. Crying into a pillow and repeatedly swearing to never, ever drink again helps somewhat, but won’t actually make the pain go away – for me, at least – as well as these options:

  1. eight additional hours of uninterrupted sleep
  2. a very thick Bloody Mary
  3. several gallons of water
  4. Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine
  5. coffee