Posts in the category “rants”

Natural American Spirit Cigarettes

In addition to one of the standard Surgeon General’s Warnings, packs of Natural American Spirit cigarettes are labeled: Made with 100% additive-free, whole leaf, natural tobacco. No reconstituted sheet tobacco. No processed stems. Up to 25% more tobacco than other king size cigarettes. All of that would, in some convoluted way, probably lead a smoker

Cell Phone Spam

I have gotten over a dozen phone calls today from (949) 374-5125 and (208) 650-4253. I had been answering the phone on the first or second ring and there would be nobody there. At first I assumed it was just some moron repeatedly calling the wrong number. But just now a call from the first

Los Angeles Superior Court

On May 1, 2008 I received a traffic citation while driving approximately 5mph in the middle of a bottleneck on Sunset Boulevard. A motorcycle cop driving between the lanes was stuck next to me because the guy in the other lane had drifted too close to my lane. He looked at me and nodded. I

The Seam and the Hole

If you put the seam right over the hole, the coffee drips.

Elevator WarningThere is an elevator in my building. It is often broken. It is often being repaired. The most recent time it was “fixed”, the brainiacs that run the building installed a new, helpful sign. The sign reads, “In the event the elevator becomes inoperable, do not become alarmed. Press the red ‘Alarm’ button.” Let’s ignore the fact that they’re telling us to press a button labeled “Alarm” but not to actually, y’know, become alarmed. What’s more comical is that the button is not red. It’s white.

To the political analyst who discussed Obama‘s campaign this morning on NPR: I’m sorry to say that you lost any credibility you had the moment you said that something was furmaliar. Nothing is furmaliar. Lots and lots of things are familiar. There is no r in the middle of that word. It’s not an accent. It’s not “the way we say it here”. It’s not anything other than wrong. You disagree. I know you do. So, Mr. Political Analyst, imagine this: If you and I were engaged in a conversation about Obama and I pronounced his name Orbama, would you correct me? I think you would. If I said, “Oh, that’s just the way I say it,” what would you think? Good day, sir. I said, “Good day!”

Christmas in November

On November 4th I entered my local Starbucks and laughed when I saw the entire store was decorated for Christmas. There happened to be a manager and a “barista” working the counter, so I mentioned that it was a bit early for Christmas decorations. The manager replied, as if I was daft, “No it’s not.

What Is This?

davidgagne.net is the personal weblog of me, David Vincent Gagne. I've been publishing here since 1999, which makes this one of the oldest continuously-updated websites on the Internet.

bartender.live

A few years ago I was trying to determine what cocktails I could make with the alcohol I had at home. I searched the App Store but couldn't find an app that would let me do that, so I built one.

Hemingway

You can read dozens of essays and articles and find hundreds of links to other sites with stories and information about Ernest Hemingway in The Hemingway Collection.