Posts tagged “comedy”

Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack

If every person at that mall had had a gorilla…

Office Quotes

There’s a guy in my office who surreptitiously records the absurd things we all say, then sends a company-wide email with his collection to ring in the new year.

A boy is hitchhiking on a country road. A car stops for him, and the driver asks, “Are you a Republican or a Democrat?”

“Democrat,” says the boy, and the car speeds off.

Another car stops, and the driver asks, “Are you a Republican or a Democrat?”

“Democrat,” says the boy, and the car speeds off.

This happens two or three times, and the boy decides he’s giving the wrong answer. The next car that stops is a convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. “Are you a Republican or a Democrat?” she asks.

“Republican,” says the boy, and she lets him in.

But as they’re driving along, the wind from the open top begins to push the blonde’s skirt higher and higher up her legs. And the boy finds himself becoming aroused. Finally he can’t control himself any longer. “Stop!” he hollers. “Let me out! I’ve only been a Republican for ten minutes and already I feel like screwing somebody!”

from Republican Party Reptile, by P.J. O’Rourke, 1987

Pre-Recorded Late Night

A pretend talk show

2024-06-10: Broken links in this post have been removed and/or updated.

  • “If a boot becomes the standard choice among war correspondents, I’m thinking it’s gotta be pretty damn good.” And now there is something else I want to buy. (A vortex cannon would be cool, too.)
  • “Thousands of web designers make unforgivable spelling mistakes constantly.” Learning how to spell is actually quite easy. It’s amazing how many people think it’s perfectly acceptable to not know how to do it correctly.
  • Your App’s Website Sucks should be required reading for everyone that makes any website, not just for app sites.
  • The CEO of Woot! sent the world’s most awesome-packed email in the history of time to his employees to announce that Amazon had purchased them.
  • Regardless of what you think, login is not a verb.
  • TiPb has a stunningly complete list of every feature of the new iPhone.
  • EDSBS presents A Journey Through College Football Dickdom
2024-06-10: Broken links in this post have been removed and/or updated.

Hot Tub Time Machine

Kick some past.

  • Check out Slaughterhouse 90210, where erudite literary quotes meet TV screencaps!
  • “There are more possible chess games than the number of atoms in the universe.” — from a fascinating article by Garry Kasparov on the topic of playing chess with computers
  • If you’re addicted to Twitter, there are a bunch of tools you can use to monitor trends and (your own) statistics.
  • Terri Carlson is 45 and was born with a genetic immune disorder C-4 complement deficiency. She’s currently on COBRA health insurance but it runs out in a year, so she says she will marry you for your health insurance.
  • Probably Bad News is just like the Jay Leno “Headlines” bit. I saw a good one today: Homicide victims rarely talk to police.
  • Psssst! You can buy ten ampersands for $9.99 if you’re into that sort of thing.
2024-10-15: Broken links in this post have been removed and/or updated.

#FridayFive: Natural Causes

View the Friday Five from January 22nd, 2010

Happy Birthday, Moose and Squirrel!

On the anniversary of the birth of the greatest cartoon in television history

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What Is This?

davidgagne.net is the personal weblog of me, David Vincent Gagne. I've been publishing here since 1999, which makes this one of the oldest continuously-updated websites on the Internet.

bartender.live

A few years ago I was trying to determine what cocktails I could make with the alcohol I had at home. I searched the App Store but couldn't find an app that would let me do that, so I built one.

Hemingway

You can read dozens of essays and articles and find hundreds of links to other sites with stories and information about Ernest Hemingway in The Hemingway Collection.